|JUIN||Phoebe: Hey! Look who I found!
Chandler: Oh, hey guys!
Phoebe: Y’know, birds have a very good sense of DIRECTION, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the
presents are hidden.
Chandler: Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.
Phoebe: Or we could just follow your clever jokes – any ideas? No! Didn’t think so! Okay, c’mon guys, show us
where the presents are!
Chandler: Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica that’s
as good as garbage?
Phoebe: Hmm, how about my azzz?
The One With The Routine (Season 06 - Episode 10)
|MAI||Chandler: All right, kids,
I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers,... it doesn't make much
of a difference...
Rachel: So, like, you guys all have jobs?
Monica: Yeah, we all have jobs. See, that's how we BUY stuff.
Joey: Yeah, I'm an actor.
Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?
Joey: I doubt it. Mostly regional work.
The One Where Monica Gets A New Roommate (Pilote)
|AVRIL||Rachel: Ross said my name
up there, I mean, come on, I just can’t pretend that didn’t happen can I?
Monica: Oh, I-I don’t know.
Rachel: Monica, what should I do?
Monica: Just uh, do the right thing. (Uses some breath spray)
Monica: Toe the line. THREAD the needle. Think outside the box! (Tries to leave, but is stopped by Rachel.)
Rachel: Whoa, wait, listen, I think I’m just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant.
Monica: Wait. Rachel, no, he’s married. Married! If you don’t realize that, I can’t help you.
Rachel: Okay, you’re right. You’re right. You can’t help me.
The One After Ross Says Rachel (Season 05 - Episode 01)
|MARS||Ross: Yes! That's where
we realized we were both super cool people!
Phoebe: Well look-look, okay Ross, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her.
Ross: Like what?
Phoebe: Like she's really mean, and she's over critical, and-and -- No! She will PAINT a room a really bright color without even checking with you!
Phoebe: And! She uses sex as a weapon!
Ross: Fine! Thank you for warning me. At breakfast I'll be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.
Phoebe: You're still gonna go out with her?!
Phoebe: Well, didn't you just hear what I said?!
The One With The Engagement Picture (Season 07 - Episode 05)
But, but this is my gig. This is where I play. My, my name is
written out there in chalk. You know, you can't
just erase chalk.
Rachel: Honey, I'm sorry.
Phoebe: And he's going to be paying this woman? Why doesn't he just give her like a throne, and a CROWN, and like a,
you know, gold stick with a ball on top.
Rachel: Terry is a jerk, ok? That's why we're always saying "Terry's a jerk!" That's where that came from.
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. You probably did everything you could.
Rachel: Ok, you know what, lemme, let me just see what else I can do. All right, look, look. Why don't you just let her
go on after Stephanie whatever-her-name-is. I mean, you won't even be here. You don't pay her. It's not gonna cost you anything.
The One With The Baby on the Bus (Season 02 - Episode 06)
Phoebe: Oh, how was last night with Julio, senorita?
Monica: It was soo amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta so you this. Last
night, we were fooling around and he stops to WRITE a poem.
Joey: Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.
Chandler: Okay, we have our stripper. A miss Crystal Chandelier.
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
Monica: Anyway um, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him. Now, I am like totally dense about poetry, but I
think it's pretty good all right. Check it out. (hands them the poem)
Joey: (reading) The Empty Vase. Translucent beauty...
Chandler: To yourself. (finishing) Hey-hey-hey, y'know what that's pretty good.
The One With All The Jealousy (Season 03 - Episode 12)
|DECEMBRE||Rachel: Ok, ok, ok, moving
on, moving on, next question. Ok number 29, have you ever betrayed another
a lightning bearer? Ok, number 30.
Monica: Woah, woah, woah, let's go back to 29.
Rachel: Not uh, not to my recollection.
Monica: Huuh, alright, Danny Arshak, ninth grade. Oh, c'mon Rach, you know the bottle was totally pointing at me.
Rachel: Only 'cause you took up half the circle.
Phoebe: Listen to you two. It's so sad. Looks like I'm gonna be going to the goddess meetings alone.
Rachel: Well not when they find out you slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he broke up with Monica.
Monica: One hour? You are such a LEAF blower.
The One Where Eddie won't go (Season 02 - Episode 19)
|NOVEMBRE||Phoebe: Hey Mon umm, if you
do get married, can I bring two guests?
Rachel: You didn’t break up with that fireman?
Phoebe: No, that was my way of telling you. Well, it turns out he’s incredibly sensitive, he keeps a journal and he PAINTS.
He even showed me charcoal drawings that he drew of me.
Phoebe: Yeah, well he’d prefer water colors, but y'know, he has easy access to a lot of charcoal.
Monica: So then, are you going to dump Jason?
Phoebe: Well, yeah, because I have to break up with someone, and… Okay so Jason is sensitive, (holds up one finger) but
now so’s Vince (holds up one finger on her other hand) Plus, Vince has the body y'know? (holds up two more fingers on
the Vince side) So… It’s really just about the math.
The One With Ross's Thing (Season 03 - Episode 23)
|OCTOBRE||Rachel: I loved the moment
when you first saw the giant dog SHADOW
all over the park.
Phoebe: Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? I mean, that was just mean.
Monica: Ok, right about now the turkey should be crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside. Why are we standing here?
Rachel: We're waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys.
Monica: No I don't.
Rachel: Yes, you do. When we left, you said, "got the keys."
Monica: No I didn't. I asked, "got the ke-eys?"
Rachel: No, no, no, you said, "got the keys".
Chandler: Do either of you have the keys?
Monica: [panicked] The oven is on.
The One Where Underdog Gets Away (Season 01 - Episode 09)
|SEPTEMBRE||Ross : (on the phone) Yes,
hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your PEN
to draw on my friend's face.
(Listens) A beard and a moustache.
(Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so.
(Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do?
(Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh.
(Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay.
(Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.)(Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Rachel : What?! What else did he say?
Ross : Umm, he said he thought I was funny. So…(Rachel stares at him.) Okay, look-look umm, let's just go downstairs, we'll have some fun, and you will forget all about it.
Rachel : Ross, no! There is no way I am leaving this room looking like this!
Ross : Oh, come on! Rach, it's-it's not that bad.
Rachel : Ross, I am a human doodle!!
The One In Vegas (Season 05 - Episode 23)
|AOUT||Chandler : Oh wow, I hope
you don’t take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet
up tonight and, ugh, I’m just kinda worried about what it might do to
Monica : I know. How could we have let this happen?
Chandler : Seven times!
Monica : Ugh! Well, y’know, we were away.
Chandler : In a FOREIGN, romantic country.
Monica : I blame London.
Chandler : Bad London! (Takes a spoon and smacks the turkey.)
Monica : So look umm, while we’re st-still in London, I mean, we can keep doing it right?
Chandler : Well, I don’t see that we have a choice. But, when we’re back home, we don’t do it.
Monica : Only here.
Chandler : Y’know, I saw a wine cellar downstairs.
Monica : I’ll meet you there in two minutes.
Chandler : Okay!
The One After Ross Says Rachel (Season 01 - Episode 18)
|JUILLET||Chandler: ( You know, I can't
believe you. Linda is so great! Why won't you go out with her again?
Ross: I don't know.
Chandler: Is this still about her whole 'The FlintSTONES could've really happened' thing?
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's just--I want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... [begins to stare lovingly at Rachel]
Chandler: ...little playthings with yarn?
Chandler: Could you want her more?
Chandler: [sarcastically] Dee, the sarcastic sister from Whats Happening.
The One With All The Poker (Season 01 - Episode 18)
|AVRIL||Phoebe: ( in a soothing voice)
Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky-plunky music.
Okay, now close you eyes, and think of a happy place. Okay, tell me your
Monica: Richard's living room, drinking wine.
Phoebe: All right. No, no, no, not a Richard thing, just put down the glass. And get out!
Monica: I'm sorry, but that's my happy place.
Phoebe: Well, okay, fine, use my happy place. Okay, I'm just gonna, I have to ask that you don't move anything.
Monica: All right, I'll try not to.
Phoebe: Okay, all right, so, your in a meadow, millions of STARS in the sky....
Monica: Do you think breaking up with him was a huge mistake?
Phoebe: All right, there are no questions in the happy place. Okay, just, the warm breeze, and the moonlight flowing through the trees....
Monica: I'll bet he's totally over me, I'll bet he's fine.
Phoebe: All right, betting and wagering of any kind, are, I'm sure, not permitted in the happy place. Okay. Just-just, you know, the-the lovely waterfalls, and the, the trickling fountains. And the-the calming sounds of the babbling brook....
Monica: Okay, this isn't working. I'm still awake and now I have to pee.
The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy (Season 03 - Episode 01)
|MARS||Rachel: Yeah! Oh, umm when-when
Monica and Chandler got engaged I started putting some stuff together,
y'know just in case...
Phoebe: Oh that's so sweet thanks.
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and here's a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Y'know I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Rachel: And umm, vintage handkerchiefs y'know 'cause, people cry at WEDDINGS. (Starting to cry.) I'm just gonna grab a couple of these.
Phoebe: This stuff is great!
Rachel: Oh, I forgot this was in here. Umm, this was the uh garter that I was saving for my wedding and I wanted it to be Monica's something borrowed and it's blue. (Starts to cry again.) Yeah...
Phoebe: Y'know Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monica's maid of honor.
Rachel: You do? Why?
Phoebe: Because I think it means more to you.
The One With The Nap Partners (Season 07 - Episode 06)
|FEVRIER||Ross: I wonder how I would
react under fire, y'know? And not backfire but-but heavy fire, like
I was in a war or something.
Monica: Man, I would be great in a WAR! I mean, I really, I think I would make a fantastic military leader. I mean I know I would make General way before any of you guys.
Chandler: Before or after you were shot by your own troops?
Ross: I know where Joey would be. He would be down in the foxhole protecting all of us.
Chandler: Yes, if the foxhole was lined with sandwiches.
Joey: Yeah, hero sandwiches. (Points at Ross who points back.)
Phoebe: Well you all know that I'm a pacifist so I'm not interested in war in any way. (Gets up) But y'know what? When the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all. (Starts to leave.) (To Joey) Not you Joey.
The One With The Ride Along (Season 05 - Episode 20)
|JANVIER||Phoebe: Oooh! I have something
you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve? [pause] Anyway,
he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef.
Monica: Um... hi there.
Phoebe: Hi! [turns back to Chandler, then to Monica] Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Chandler: Yeah... I just don't have that much cheffing experience. Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.
Monica: Yeah, yeah! Well, what kind of FOOD is he looking for?
Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu.
Monica: [excited] Oh my God!
Phoebe: Yeah, I know! [turns to Chandler] Well, what do you think?
Chandler: Thanks, Phoeb. But I just don't see myself in a big white hat.
Phoebe: OK. [pause] Hey Monica! Guess what!
The One With The Stoned Guy (Season 01 - Episode 15)
|NOVEMBRE||Chandler: Where's Joey? His
mom's on the phone.
Monica: He's in the bathroom. I don't think you wanna go in there!
Chandler: C'mon, we're roommates! (HE GOES INTO THE BATHROOM, SCREAMS AND RUNS OUT) My EYES!! My eyes!!
Monica: I warned you...
(ENTER RACHEL FROM HER ROOM)
Rachel: Who is being loud?
Chandler: Oh, that would be Monica. (...)
The One With the Butt (Season01-Episode06)
|OCTOBRE||Ross: (entering) So I nodded
off a little.
Rachel: Nodded off!! Ross you were snoring. My father’s boat didn’t make that much noise when it hit rocks!
Ross: Come on! Forty-five minutes! Forty-five minutes the man talked about strappy backed dresses.
Rachel: Well okay, how about four hours in a freezing museum auditorium listening to Professor Pitstains and he’s ‘Hey everybody! Remember that thing that’s been dead for a gazillion years. Well there’s this little BONE we didn’t know it had!’
Ross: First of all it’s Professor Pittain! And second of all, that little bone, proved that, that particular dinosaur had wings, but didn’t fly.
Rachel: Okay, see now, what I just heard: blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah, blah, blah.
Ross: Y'know what, 100 million people went to see a movie about what I do, I wonder how many people would go see a movie called, Jurassic Parka.
The One With Phoebe’s Ex-Partner (Season03-Episode14)
|SEPTEMBRE||Phoebe: Oh my God!!! Monica!!
He's the stripper from your bachelorette party!!
Chandler: Her what?!!
Phoebe: Your secret bachelorette party...
Chandler: You had a bachelorette party?!
Phoebe: She untied his G-string with her TEETH. (Pause) Somebody stop me!
Chandler: I thought we weren't gonna have bachelor/bachelorette parties! Y'know, we agreed that it was a silly tradition.
Joey: It's a grand tradition!
Monica: I'm sorry, they surprised me. There was nothing I could do!
Rachel: Well you could've untied it with your hands.
The One With The Stripper (Season08-Episode08)
|AOUT||Rachel: (starting to move
closer to him) That's right, I wanna do it with you! I've been
trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.
Joey: (nervously backing away) I-I-I-I did? (He puts a stool in front of her.)
Rachel: (moves the stool out of the way) Yeah! Ohh, I've been waitin' so long to get on that body!
Joey: This BODY? (He backs into the kitchen.)
Rachel: Yeah that's right! Come on Joey; sex me up!
Joey: Hey-hey, you're startin' to sound like the butcher's wife there in-in chapter seven.
Rachel: Oh, come on now, don't keep me waiting. Get those clothes off! But, I would keep that helmet on because you're in for a rough ride! (He backs into the door.)
Joey: I don't want to, I'm scared.
(Rachel walks away, pleased with herself.)
The One With Rachel's Book (Season07-Episode02)
|JUILLET||Ross: Well? Isn't that amazing?
Joey: What are we supposed to be seeing here?
Chandler: I dunno, but.. I think it's about to attack the Enterprise.
Phoebe: You know, if you tilt your HEAD to the left, and relax your eyes, it kinda looks like an old potato.
Ross: Then don't do that, alright?
The One With The Sonogram at The End< (Season01-Episode03)
|AVRIL||Phoebe: I’m sorry, I-I-I-I
don’t live here anymore. I-I didn’t know how to tell you, but
y'know everybody else knows!
Monica: Everybody knows!
Phoebe: That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldn’t sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions.
Monica: Well, you-you coulda just turned the cushion over.
Phoebe: Yeah, I would’ve except I had a big spaghetti STAIN on the other side.
Phoebe: Okay, this is what I’m talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill.
Monica: You can spill. In the sink.
Phoebe: Aw, honey it’s not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I don’t see that happening.
Monica: I love you, too.
The One Whit The Flashback (Season03-Episode06)
Bye..... ridiculously dull Bobby.
Monica: Oh.... my... God.
Phoebe: It's not that bad.
Monica: Not that bad? Did you hear the HAMMER story?
Phoebe: OK, OK, don't get all squinky.
Rachel: Maybe it was just the kind of story where you have to be there.
Monica: But I'm gonna be there... for the rest of my life. I mean, I can't break up with him. I'm the one who made him quit drinking. He's dull because of me.
Phoebe: Alright, don't say that. He's probably always been dull. You just, you know, set it free.
The One Whit Russ (Season02-Episode10)
The most unbelievable thing has happened. Underdog has just
Joey: The BALLON ?
Chandler: No, no, the actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon. It's all over the news. Right before he reached Macy's, he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park. I'm goin' to the roof, who's with me?
Rachel: I can't, I gotta go.
Chandler: Come on. An 80-foot inflatable dog let loose over the city. How often does that happen?
Phoebe: Almost never.
Monica: Got the keys? or Got the keys!
The One Where Underdog Gets Away (Season1-Episode09)
|DECEMBRE||No Quote - HIPPY ATTITUDE|
church where Ross and Emily are to be married. Judy, Andrea,
and Monica enter together.]
Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! It’s like a FAIRYLAND.
Mrs. Waltham: I know, it’s horrible isn’t it?
Monica: Well, I love it. I only hope my wedding looks this good.
Mrs. Geller: I just hope...
Monica: (Angrily.) You can let some of them go by!(Judy and Andrea go to the front of the chapel. Joey approaches Monica.)
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. I’ll cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.
Monica: (Awkwardly.) Why would I care where Chandler is? You know uhh...You know sometimes I don’t even like Chandler.
The One With Ross’s Wedding (Season04-Episode23)
|OCTOBRE||No quote - ABCDAIRE/HORNBOOK|
|SEPTEMBRE||Joey: Rach, these are for
Rachel: Wiper blades. I don't even have a CAR.
Joey: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
Chandler: OK, Phoebs, your turn.
Phoebe: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
Phoebe: You guuuyys.
Joey: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.
Ross: You got me a cola drink?
Chandler: And, a lemon lime.
Ross: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Chandler: And last but not least.
[Chandler and Joey give Monica a pack of condoms.]
Joey: They're ribbed for your pleasure.
[Ross and Monica trade their gifts.]
The One With Phoebe's Dad (Season02-Episode09) FRIENDS
|AOUT||Rachel: Did you tell the doctor
you did it jumping up and down on your bed?
Joey: Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.
Joey: What is this? FRUIT?
Rachel: Monica's making jam.
Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Chandler: Because the kids need new shoes.
The One With The Jam (Season03-Episode03) FRIENDS
|JUILLET||Ross: Can we please focus
here, a naked man’s life hangs in the balance!
Phoebe: I’m telling you he’s dead. What we are about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick.
Joey: All right, ladies and gentlemen, let’s poke. (they start to advance the giant poking device) Steady. Steady. Okay, a little higher. Careful of the angle. Okay, okay, we’re approaching the window (as he says this the camera cuts to their view of Ugly Naked Guy, so that we actually see him!) THREAD THE NEEDLE. Thread the needle.
(They thread the needle and start poking him, he then stirs.)
Phoebe: He’s alive! He’s a-live!!!
Monica: And yet, we’re still poking him.
Joey: Okay, retract the device, retract the device.
Ross: He does not look happy.
Rachel: Hey-hey, now he’s showing us his poking device.
Joey: Hey, that’s never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy!
The One With The Giant Poking Device (Season03-Episode08) FRIENDS
|JUIN||Joey: Oh my God.
Joey: Uhhh, I don't think you're gonna like this.
[Joey shows them the torn-up newspaper.]
Rachel: Ooh, goooosh, ooh, these are cookies smashed in the SPORTS section.
Monica: Oh look, and he did my crossword puzzle.
Ross: Yeah, but not very well, unless 14-across, 'Gershwin musical' actually is bitemebitemebitemebiteme.
The One One With Phoebe's Dad (Season02-Episode09) FRIENDS
|MAI||Janitor: Oh, yeah, right.
There was a break-in, few months back, inside job.Your monkey
Ross: Oh my God. But the zoo told me that my monkey was dead.
Janitor: The zoo! Do you believe everything the zoo tells ya?
Ross: That, that's the only thing the zoo's ever told me.
Janitor: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad PUBLICITY. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
Ross: That guy Lipson?
Janitor: Lipson knows. Do you have any idea who else knows?
Ross: No, I, I only know Lipson.
Janitor: Hmm, Lipson knows huh? Ahh, hello Mr. Opossum, enigma of the trees, upside-down denizen of the night, taunting gravity with...
Ross: Buddy, my monkey, my monkey.
Janitor: Word on the street - well, when I say street, I mean those little pretend streets they have here at the zoo.
The One After the Superbowl (Season02-Episode12) FRIENDS
|AVRIL||Chandler: (entering, angry)
Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? Your tailor is a
very bad man!
Joey: Frankie? What're you talking about?
Ross: (entering from teh bedroom) Hey, what's goin' on?
Chandler: Joey's tailor...took advantage of me.
Joey: No way. I've been going to the guy for 12 years.
Chandler: He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his HAND up my leg, and then, there was definite--
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison! Whatsa matter with you?
Joey: What? That's not? Oh my god.
The One With Ross' New Girlfriend (Season02-Episode01) FRIENDS
|MARS||Ross: 30 seconds on the clock.
5 questions wins the game. The lightning round begins…now!
What is Joey’s favorite food?
Ross: Correct. Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl’s breast?
Ross: No, 19.
Chandler: Thanks man.
Ross: Joey, had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
Ross: Correct, his profession was?
Rachel: SPACE cowboy!
Ross: Correct! What is Chandler Bing’s job?
(The girls are stumped)
Rachel: Oh gosh, it has something to do with numbers.
Monica: And processing.
Rachel: He carries a briefcase.
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
Monica: It’s umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, he’s a transponce—transpondster!
The One With The Embryos (Season04-Episode12) FRIENDS
|FEVRIER||Chandler: (STARING AT A WOMAN
ACROSS THE ROOM) Ross, ten o'clock.
Ross: Is it? Feels like two.
Chandler: No, ten o'clock.
Chandler: (SIGHS AND GESTURES TO EXPLAIN) There's a beautiful WOMAN at eight, nine, ten o'clock!
Ross: Oh. Hel-lo!
Chandler: She's amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!
Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
Chandler: Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? 'Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.'
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it!
Chandler: Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.
Ross: He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
Chandler: Thank you, buddy.
The One With the Butt (Season01-Episode06) FRIENDS
|JANVIER||Phoebe: Well it's just-it's
one of those situations that I just hate. Y'know? A massage
client gave me three tickets to the Helmet-Pelts exhibit at the
Morgan Chase museum.
Joey: (nodding knowingly) Now you're thinking you gotta sleep with him.
Phoebe: No! No! It’s just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us!
Chandler: I’ll give up my ticket.
Joey: Me too.
Phoebe: Okay that’s so generous!
Chandler: And I think Ross is generous too.
Phoebe: Great! Okay then it’s just us girls!
Monica and Rachel: (less than enthused) Great.
Rachel: So what-what is the exhibit.
Phoebe: It’s mostly just photographs of lesbian love scenes interspersed with VIDEO GAMES and free sandwiches.
Joey: Oh man! (Hits Chandler)
The One Where Paul's The Man (Season06-Episode22) FRIENDS
|DECEMBRE||Joey: And I gotta go sell
some CHRISTMAS trees.
Phoebe: Have fun. Oh wait, no, don’t! I forgot I am totally against that now.
Joey: What? Me having a job?
Phoebe: No, no, I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime, and their, their corpses grotesquely dressed in like tinsel and twinkly lights. (to Joey) Hey, how do you sleep at night?
Joey: Well, I’m pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy.
The One Where Rachel Quits (Season03-Episode10) FRIENDS
|NOVEMBRE||Ross: Oh, hey, hey Rach, do
you notice anything..ahh…
Rachel: Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. (Sitting down on the couch.) You guys are never going to believe this. But, Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren.
Monica: Oh my god.
Rachel: Yeah I know. She ran into him at my OFFICE and they just…made out. And the craziest thing is, now my boss likes me because I told her about it and she said it was the best gossip she’d heard all year.
Chandler: I am proud of all my friends today.
Monica: My God, Rachel, I can’t believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Ohh, I’m so jealous. (Chandler looks at her.)
Chandler: Hi, I’m Chandler. Your live-in boy !
Monica: Chandler, please, come on. Look at him. (Pointing to a picture of Ralph on a magazine)
Chandler: Oh, I am no women, but that is one tasty dish.
The One With Ross's Teeth (Season08-Episode06) FRIENDS
|OCTOBRE||Monica: Okay, so I'm responsible,
I'm organised. But hey, I can be a kook.
Ross: Alright, you madcap gal. Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away.
Monica: Why not?
Ross: Because you're a kook! Instead you wait until they send you a notice.
Monica: I could do that.
Rachel: Okay, uh, you let me go grocery shopping, and I buy laundry detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout.
Monica: Why would someone do that?! ...One might wonder.
Chandler: Someone's left a glass on the coffee table. There's no coaster. It's a cold drink, it's a hot day. Little beads of condensation are inching their way closer and closer to the surface of the WOOD...
Monica: STOP IT!! ...Oh my God. It's true! Who am I?
Ross: Monica? You're Mom.
Phoebe: Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!
The One With the Butt (Season01-Episode06) FRIENDS
|SEPTEMBRE||Monica: Why is Ross naked?
Ross: I-I had to show Chandler something?
Ross: Yeah-yeah I uh, I have a uh, a guy problem.
Monica: Is it the same thing that Chandler had?
Chandler: Look, uh, just come later, we'll get everything squared away and you can come back later.
Monica: Okay, listen, there's still some of Chandler's MEDECINE under the sink in the bathroom. Bye!
Chandler: Bye! Thank God
Ross: Dude, what'd you have?
Chandler: Look, we have no time okay? We must focus. We gotta get everything back into its original place.
The One Where Phoebe Runs (Season06-Episode07) FRIENDS
|AOUT||Shelley: Hey gorgeous, how's
Chandler: Dehydrated Japanese noodles under FLUORESCENT LIGHTS... does it get better than this?
Shelley: Question. You're not dating anybody, are you, because I met somebody who would be perfect for you.
Chandler: Ah, y'see, perfect might be a problem. Had you said 'co-dependent', or self-destructive'...
Shelley: Do you want a date Saturday?
Chandler: Yes please.
Shelley: Okay. He's cute, he's funny, he's-
Chandler: He's a he?
Shelley: Well yeah! ...Oh God. I- just- I thought- Good, Shelley. I'm just gonna go flush myself down the toilet now.
The One Where Nana Dies Twice (Season01-Episode08) FRIENDS
|JUILLET||Monica: Rach, that's great!
It's so good that you had a good time in Greece!
Rachel: What?! I didn't have a good time in GREECE! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.
Chandler: Oh that's not true.
Rachel: Yes it is! It is true! I went, I went after Ross in stupid London.
Phoebe: London is stupid! Stupid!
The One With All The Kissing (Season05-Episode02) FRIENDS
|JUIN||Ross: I don't know what to
do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete
Ross: Ok, Pheebs. See how I'm making these little toys move? Opposable thumbs. Without evolution, how do you explain opposable thumbs?
Phoebe: Maybe the overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts.
Ross: Please tell me you're joking.
Phoebe: Look, can't we just say that you believe in something, and I don't.
Ross: No, no, Pheebs, we can't, ok, because--
Phoebe: What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
Ross: Is there BLOOD coming out of my ears?
The One Where Mr. Heckles Dies (Season02-Episode03) FRIENDS
|MAI||Ross: I don't know what to
do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete
Chandler: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
Joey: Hey, here's a thought, Ross. [reaches for the computer]
Chandler: Don't touch the computer. Don't ever touch the COMPUTER.
Joey: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
[Ross gives him an insulted look.]
Chandler: Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column.
Ross: Can't we just use a pen?
Chandler: No, Amish boy.
The One Whith The List (Season02-Episode08) FRIENDS
|AVRIL||Ross: (in his British accent)
I’m sorry, I’ve got plans with my sister.
Monica: (in an Irish accent) Monica Gellerrr. (She rolls her ‘R’)
Ross: (in accent) Right, will you excuse us for one moment? (Takes Monica aside.) (In his normal voice.) What are you doing?
Monica: (normal voice) Oh, you can have an accent and I can’t?! (To an exiting student in accent.) Top ‘O the morning to ya laddies!
Ross: Just please stop!
(They turn back to Rachel and Professor Rathman.)
Rachel: (in an INDIAN accent) Yes, yes, Bombay is bery, bery nice time of year.
The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance (Season06-Episode04) FRIENDS
|MARS||Chandler: Hey! Hold on a minute,
hold on a second. Do you think these pearls are nice?
Joey: I’d really prefer a mountain bike.
Chandler: Janice’s birthday is coming up, I want to get her something special. Come in here with me.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, whoa. Do you ah, want to get her something speacial, get her FLOWER, get her candy, get her gum, girls love gum.
Chandler: That’s a good idea, ‘Dear Janice have a Hubba-Bubba birthday’. I would like to get her something serious.
Joey: Oh, you want something serious. Y'know what you should do, you should get her one of those um, barium enemas. Those are dead serious.
Chandler: All right. Look, I’m gonna go in here, and you don’t buy me anything ever.
The One With The Giant Poking Device (Season03-Episode08) FRIENDS
|FEVRIER||Phoebe: Oh! You know my friend
Abby who shaves her head? She said that if you want to break
the bad boyfriend cycle, you can do like a cleansing ritual.
Rachel: Phoebes, this woman is voluntarily bald.
Phoebe: Yeah. So, we can do it tomorrow night, you guys. It's VALENTINE'S DAY. It's perfect.
Monica: Ok, well, what kind of ritual?
Phoebe: Ok. We can, um, we can burn the stuff they gave us.
Phoebe: Or...or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks.
Monica: Burning's good.
Rachel: Burning's good. Yeah, I got stuff to burn.
The One With the Candy Hearts (Season01-Episode14) FRIENDS
|JANVIER||[Scene: The museum planetarium. Ross
and Rachel enter on stage.]
Rachel: What is this? What are we doing?
Ross: Shh. Do you want cran-apple or cran-grape?
Ross: [spreads the pelt on the floor] OK, now, sit. OK. [he starts the music system]
Rachel: Oh, God.
[The stereo system booms out 'Billions of years ago. . .'. Ross gets up and changes it to music.]
Rachel: Ah, so what are we looking at?
Ross: Well uh, you see that, that little cluster of STARS next to the big one? That is Ursa Major.
Ross: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight.
Rachel: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss]
Ross: You're not laughing.
Rachel: This time it's not so funny.
[They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.]
Rachel: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK.
Ross: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box.
Rachel: Oh, thank God.
The One Where Rachel and Ross... You Know (Season02-Episode15) FRIENDS
Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap.
Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap.
Said all you need is to write them a song.
They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along.
No, don't sing along.
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Chanukah.
|NOVEMBRE||Ross: [Angry] I- I- I ca-
I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep
him in the apartment.
Rachel: I know, I know, I'm sorry-
Ross: No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with like a PEN or a pencil.
Rachel: [Tearfully] Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- [Door buzzer goes and she runs to get it] Oh! Who is it?
Intercom: Animal Control.
Rachel: See? I've even called Animal Control!
Ross: You called Animal Control?
Rachel: Uh-huh... why... do you not like them?
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
The One Where The Monkey Gets Away (Season01-Episode19) FRIENDS
|OCTOBRE||Chandler: You're watching
a football game at a funeral?
Joey: No, it's the pre-game. I'm gonna watch it at the reception.
Chandler: You are a frightening, frightening man.
[Rachel steps in a patch of mud]
Rachel: Oh no! My new Paolo shoes!
Ross: Oh, I hope they're not ruined.
Phoebe: God, what a great day. ...What? WEATHER-wise!
Ross: I know, uh, the air, the-the trees... even though Nana's gone there's, there's something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff- [Not looking where he is going he falls into an open grave]
All: God! Ross!
Ross: I'm fine. Just-just... having my worst fear realised...
The One Where Nana Dies Twice (Season1-Episode08) FRIENDS
|SEPTEMBRE||Chandler: I’m right! Right?
There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had
heat, and now there’s no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey
told us what this means!
Ross: All right, let’s not jump to any conclusions. All right? There was some sexual CHEMISTRY between them.
Chandler: Come on, it was like cousins having sex up there!
Ross: Here she comes. Don’t say a word, okay? Just be cool, don’t be…y'know you.
Kathy: Hey you guys!
Kathy: Hi! (Kisses Chandler) Thank you so much for coming again. Did you like it tonight?
Ross: Oh, absolutely! (Chandler mumbles something.)
Kathy: Wasn’t Nick funny when he couldn’t get his match lit?
(Chandler laughs without opening his mouth.)
Kathy: It’s a good play, isn’t it?
(Chandler mumbles something, and Ross tells him to "Come on.")
Chandler: Oh, I loved the play. You were great, and Nick ditto. Clearly you’re having sex with him.
The One With Rachel’s Crush (Season4-Episode13) FRIENDS
|AOUT||Monica: Oh, I love my life,
I love my life!
Phoebe: Ooh! Brian's Song!
Rachel: The meeting with the guy went great?
Monica: So great! He showed me where the RESTAURANT's going to be. It's this cute little place on 10th Street. Not too big, not too small. Just right.
Chandler: Was it formerly owned by a blonde woman and some bears?
Monica: So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.
Rachel: What are you going to make?
Phoebe: [as though Rachel wasn't paying attention] Yummy noises.
Rachel: [pause] And Monica, what are you going to make?
Monica: I don't know. I don't know. It's just going to be so great!
Phoebe: Ooh! I know what you could make! [runs over to join Monica and Rachel in the kitchen] I know! Oh, you should definitely make that thing... you know, with the stuff? You know, that thing... with the stuff...? OK, I don't know. [sits down]
The One With the Stoned Guy (Season1-Episode15) FRIENDS
|JUILLET||Joey: (laughs, softly) Yeah,
the stripper stole it.
Ross: My-my ring? My-my wedding ring? The-the stripper stole my wedding ring?! H-how?! How could this all happen?!
Chandler: Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why don’t you be my best man."
Ross: (dialling the phone) All right-all right, fine! I-I’m gonna call the cops!
Joey: Dude, I screwed up, you don’t have to turn me in!
Ross: Not on you! On the stripper!
Joey: Oh, yeah, well I already did that! They said they’re gonna look into it right after they solved all the murders.
Ross: Okay, well, we’ll call the company that sent her!
Joey: I did that too! They wouldn’t give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again they’d call the POLICE." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them I’m missing a ring!"
Ross: So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That there’s nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?!
Joey: Look Ross, I am so-so sorry. I-I-I…
Chandler: Well, what if we just ah, called her, used a fake name, and had her come to my office?
Joey: Oh, that sounds like fun, but we’ve got a ring to find!!
The One With The Worst Best Man Ever (Season4-Episode22) FRIENDS
|JUIN||Ross: Okay, I have a problem
I have to go into work for a few hours, some kids messed up
the Homo Sapien display.
Joey: What did they do?
Ross: Well, they PAINTED over the word ‘Sapien’ for one thing, then they rearranged the figures, let’s just leave it at that.
Monica: So, do you want me to watch Ben for you?
Ross: Yes, that’s what I was going to ask, thank you.
Rachel: Whoa! Wait! Hello! What about me?
Ross: You? You! Want to watch Ben? (in the background Monica mouths ‘Don’t worry, I’ll be here the whole time.’ to Ross.) Yes! That’d be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. (Monica sarcastically mouths ‘Yeah!’ and holds up her thumb.)
Joey: Hey-hey, Ross?
Joey: I’ve got a science question.
Joey: If the Homo Sapiens, were in fact ‘Homo-sapien’, is that why there extinct?
Ross: Joey, Homo Sapiens are people.
Joey: Hey-hey, I’m not judging.
The One With The Giant Poking Device (Season3-Episode08) FRIENDS
Joey: Chandler? What're you still doin' here, I though you guys took off.
Chandler: Oh, no no no, she took off with my CLOTHES.
Joey: Are you naked in there?
Chandler: Not exactly. . . I'm wearin panties.
Joey: Huh, you uh, you always wear panties?
Chandler: No, no, this is the first time.
Joey: Wow, talk about your bad luck, I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes.
Chandler: I was not trying them out, Susie asked me to wear them.
Joey: Well, let me see.
Chandler: No. I'm not letting you or anybody else see, ever.
Joey: Alright, alright. [climbs up in the next stall and looks over at Chandler] Woah, someone's flossing.
The One After the Superbowl (Season2-Episode12) FRIENDS
|AVRIL||Ross: Umm, did you notice
anything wierd about Ben today?
Monica: No. Why?
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly he’s leaving out ‘e’ and ‘f.’ It’s like they just ah, I don’t know, fell out of his head.
Ross: Oh, and also, he’s, he’s walkin’ kind of funny, his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg, and he’s in there just sort of y'know... (walks around in a circle)
Monica: Oh my God, I wrecked your BABY !! (runs into the bedroom)
Rachel: I hope it’s still funny when you’re in hell.
Monica: (coming out of the bedroom) You jerk! You know how much I love that kid! (starts to chase Ross around the livingroom)
Ross: Monica bang! Monica bang! (runs into one of the posts) Ow!
The One With The Giant Poking Device (Season3-Episode08) FRIENDS
|MARS||Monica: Here’s your tea Phoebe.
(They give it to her and quickly take a step back.)
Phoebe: (sips it) It’s so good. (Monica and Rachel breath a sigh of relief.) Oh, thanks.
Monica: I’m so glad you liked it.
Phoebe: (sets the cup down) Oh! (Grabs her stomach in pain.)
Rachel: What?! She made the TEA ! (Points to Monica.)
Phoebe: Oh! No, I-I think I just had a contraction.
Rachel: You what?
Monica: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one.
Monica: Wait, you can’t have the baby here! I mean I haven’t sterilised it since the guys moved out!
Rachel: Okay. It’s okay. We’re gonna be okay. Y’know what? It’s okay. I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna boil some water and just rip up some sheets!
The One With The Worst Best Man Ever (Season4-Episode22) FRIENDS
|FEVRIER||Chandler: Okay! Okay! Okay!
You win! You win!! I can't have sex with ya!
Phoebe: And why not?!
Chandler: Because I'm in love with Monica!!
Phoebe: You're-you're what?!
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)
Chandler: Love her! That's right, I…LOVE…HER!!! I love her!! (They walk together and hug.) I love you, Monica.
Monica: I love you too Chandler. (They kiss.)
Phoebe: I just—I thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!
Chandler: And hats off to Phoebe. Quite a competitor. (Pause) And might I say your breasts are still showing.
The One Where Everyone Finds Out (Season5-Episode14) FRIENDS
|JANVIER||Ross: I'm here. How's my little
boy? Want Daddy to change your diaper? So, did you have FUN with Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler
Joey: Oh, yeah, he rode the bus today.
Ross: Ohhh. Big boy, riding the bus--Hey, I have a question. How come it says Property of Human Services on his butt?
Chandler: You, you are gonna love this.
Ross: Will you hold Ben for a sec? Come here. Come here.
Chandler: Stay back, I've got kiwi. Run, Joey, Run!
The One With the Baby on the Bus (Season2-Episode06) FRIENDS
|DECEMBRE||Phoebe: Ooh, you guys have
to make a wish.
Monica: Make a wish?
Phoebe: Come on, you know, Thanksgiving. Ooh, you got the bigger half. What'd you wish for?
Joey: The bigger half.
Chandler: I'd like to propose a toast. Little toast here, ding ding. I know this isn't the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
All: That's so sweet.
Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy CHRISTMAS.
Rachel: And a crappy New Year.
Chandler: Here, here!
The One Where Underdog Gets Away (Season1-Episode09) FRIENDS
|NOVEMBRE||Rachel: Why the hell didn't
you tell me!
Ross: I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do stand up and shout 'Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!'
Rachel: Oh my GOD this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
Ross: Rach, hey look, I remember that, it wasn't so bad.
Rachel: Oh Ross, would you stop, you got me, I'm dating you.
The One With Barry and Mindy's Wedding (Season2-Episode24) FRIENDS
|OCTOBRE||Monica: This is me in The
Sound of Music. See the von Trapp kids?
Monica: That's because I'm in front of them.
Chandler: Eh. I thought that was an alp.
Monica: Well, high school was not my favourite time.
Joey: I dunno, I loved high SCHOOL. Y'know? It was just four years of parties and dating and sex.
Chandler: Yeah, well I went to boarding school with four hundred boys. Any sex I had would've involved a major lifestyle choice.
The One Where the Monkey Gets Away (Season1-Episode19) FRIENDS
|SEPTEMBRE||Monica: (entering from her
room) Okay. I gotta call Michelle. I gotta see if that was
her voice or not. I'm sorry, I just have to.
Ross: It was, it was her voice.
Chandler: Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place.
Michelle: Hola! Hello. Hello?
Monica: Okay. That was her right?
Monica: See there you go. Woo! We're out of the WOODS. Okay, I'll get dressed now.
The One Where No-one's Ready (Season3-Episode02) FRIENDS
|AOUT||Phoebe : Hey ! You guys, I’m
writing a HOLIDAY song for
everyone. Do you want to hear it?
Monica, Rachel and Joey : Yes!
Phoebe : (Singing) Happy Chanuka, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy
New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!
Rachel : Pheebs, that’s great!
Phoebe : Oh, yay!
Rachel : But y’know ummm, Rachel doesn’t rhymes with draddle.
Phoebe : I know but it’s so hard! Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!
The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie (Season4-Episode10) FRIENDS
|JUILLET||Rachel : Oh my God ! Oh my
Monica : Still crying?
Rachel : Like a little girl. I know. I know. This is all my fault. I wanted him to open up. But
God, I didn’t know that I gonna unleash this-this weepy, clingy, moist MONSTER!
Monica : Y’know, I only know of two surefire ways to shut a man up. And one of them is sex.
Rachel : What’s the other one?
Monica : I don’t know, I’ve never had to use the other one. I’m just saying y’know, if we’re having sex, he’s not gonna be talking.
Rachel : Oh that’s right. You’re the talker.
The One With The Ring (Season6-Episode23) FRIENDS
|JUIN||Joey : (Entering) Hey Rach
! Hey, you mind if I read my COMIC
books in here?
Rachel : Sure! Why?
Joey : Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it’s kinda hard to concentrate.
Rachel : What?! She just call me and said that she was gonna be working late! She keeps lying to me! That’s it! Y’know what? I’m just gonna go over there and confront them right now!
The One With Chandler’s Work Laugh (Season5-Episode12) FRIENDS
|MAI||Ross : I’m gonna be a father.
Rachel : This is just occurring to you?
Ross : I always knew I was havin’ a BABY, I just never realised the baby was having me.
Rachel : (She comforts him too) Oh, you’re gonna be great!
Ross : Aw, how can you say that? I can’t even get Marcel to stop eating the bath mat. How am I gonna raise a kid?
Chandler : You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that, that monkeys and babies are actually different.
The One With Two Part - Part 1 (Season1-Episode16) FRIENDS
|AVRIL||Ross : Guess who’s here. It’s
the toughest guy in toy land, Ben. (Singing) A real AMERICAN hero. I’m G.I. Joe ! Drop the
Barbi, drop the Barbi.
Rachel : G.I. Joe. Do you really think he’s gonna fall for that?
Joey : (Entering) G.I. Joe? Cool! Can I play?
Ross : Look Ben, it’s a toy that protect U.S. oil interests overseas !
Joey and Ross : Go Joe !!!
The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel (Season3-Episode04) FRIENDS
|MARS||Ross : Ok, would people stop
DRINKING the breast milk?
Phoebe : You won’t even taste it?
Ross : No!!
Phoebe : Not even if you just pretend that’s milk?
Ross : Not even if Carol’s breast had a picture of a missing child on it.
The One With The Breast Milk (Season2-Episode02) FRIENDS
|FEVRIER||Monica : Joey, what are you
doing ? You promised Phoebe you wouldn’t EAT meat until she has the babies!
Joey : Well, I figure we’re in another country, so it doesn’t count.
Monica : That’s true.
Chandler : The man’s got a point.
The One After Ross Says Rachel (Season5-Episode01) FRIENDS
|JANVIER||Tiens, tout à change ce matin
Je n’y comprend rien
C’est la fête, la fête
Jeunes et vieux, grands et petits
On est tous amis
C’est la fête, la FETE
C’est comme un grand coup de soleil
Un vent de folie
Rien n’est plus pareil
Michel FUGAIN (C’est la fête)
|DECEMBRE||Tu me fais TOURNER la tête
Mon manége à moi, c’est toi
Je suis toujours à la fête
Quand tu me tiens dans tes bras
Je ferai le tour du monde
Ca ne tournerait pas plus que ca
La terre n’est pas assez ronde
Pour m’étourdir autant que toi
Edith PIAF (Mon manége à moi)
|NOVEMBRE||Pawns in the game are not victims
Strewn on the fields of Belgium and France
Poppies for young men, death’s bitter trade
All of those young lives betrayed
The CHILDREN of England would never be slaves
They’re trapped on the wire and dying in waves
The Flower of England face down in the mud
And stained in the blood of a whole generation
STING (Children’s crusade)
|OCTOBRE||I could escape this feeling
With my CHINA girl
I feel a wreck without my
Little china girl
I hear her hearts beating
Loud and thunder
Saw their stars crashing
David BOWIE (China girl)
|SEPTEMBRE||Ziggy, il s’appelle Ziggy
Je suis folle de lui
C’est un GARCON pas comme les autres
Mais moi je l’aime c’est pas d’ma faute
Même si je sais qu’il ne m’aimera jamais
Céline DION (Un garcon pas comme les autres-Starmania)
|AOUT||No-one on earth could feel like this.
I’m thrown and overblown with bliss.
There must be an ANGEL
Playing with my heart.
I walk into an empty room
And suddenly my heart goes “boom”!
It’s an orchestra of angel
And they’re playing with my hear
EURYTHMICS (There must be an angel)
|JUILLET||When you’re weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I’ll dry them all.
I’m on your side, oh, when times are rough,
And friends just can’t be found,
Like a bridge over troubled WATER,
I will lay me down,
Like a bridge over troubled water,
I will lay me down
SIMON AND GARFUNKEL (Bridge over troubled water)
|JUIN||You know that it would be untrue
You know that it would be a lie
If I was to say to you
Girl we couldn’t get much higher
Come on baby light my FIRE
Come on baby light my fire
Try to set the night on fire
THE DOORS (Light my fire)
|MAI||I swear I won’t tease you
Won’t tell you no lies
I don’t need no bibles
Just look in my eyes
I’ve waited so long baby
Now that we’re friends
Every man’s got his patience
And here’s where my ends
I want your SEX
I want you
I want your…sex
George MICHAEL (I want your sex)
|AVRIL||Mais voilà l’homme
Sous son chapeau de paille
Des taches plein sa blouse
Et sa barbe en bataille
Il laisse s’accomplir la magie de ses mains
Et il éclaire le monde pour nos yeux qui n’voient rien
Si le bonheur existe
C’est une épreuve d’artiste
Cézanne le sait bien
France GALL (Cézanne peint)
|MARS||Gainsbourg et son Gainsborough
Ont pris le ferry-boat
De leur lit par le hublot
Ils regardent la côte
Il s’aiment et la traversée
Durera toute une année
Ils vaincront les maléfices
Soixant’neuf année EROTIQUE
Soixant’neuf année érotique
Serge GAINSBOURG (69 année érotique)
|FEVRIER||There’s nothing you can make that
can’t be made
No one you can save that can’t be saved
Nothing you can do but you can learn
How to be you in time. It’s easy.
All you need is LOVE, All you need is love
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
BEATLES (All you need is love)
|JANVIER||C’est une MAISON bleue
Adossée à la colline
On y vient à pied
On ne frappe pas
Ceux qui vivent la
Ont jeté la clef.
Maxime LEFORESTIER (San Francisco)
|DECEMBRE||I’m driving around in my car,
I’m driving too fast, I’m driving too far
I’d like to change my point of view
I feel so lonely, I’m waiting for you
But nothing ever happens – and I wonder.
I wonder how, I wonder why
Yesterday you told me ’bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon TREE
FOOL’S GARDEN (Lemon Tree)
|NOVEMBRE||So the sun, shines upon me
Havin fun, KILLER is me
Insane the mind, in the name of me
Can’t find the time, to let things be
Insane the mind, in the name of me
Can’t find the time, to let things be
Let things be
ALICE IN CHAINS (Killer is me)
|OCTOBRE||What a wicked GAME to play, to make me feel this
What a wicked game to do, to let me dream of you
What a wicked game to say, you never felt this way
What a wicked game to do, to make me dream of you and,
I don’t want to fall in love
I don’t want to fall in love
Chris ISAAK (Wicked game)
|SEPTEMBRE||Baby you can drive my CAR…..
|AOUT||Well, East cost girl are hip, I really
dig those stiles they wear,
And the Southern GIRLS with the way they talk,
They knock me out when I’m down there.
The Midwest farmers’ daughters really make you fell alright,
And the Northern girls with the way they kiss
They keep their boy-friends warm at night.
I wish they all could be California,
I wish they all could be California,
I wish they all could be California Girls
BEACH BOYS (California Girls)
|JUILLET||Everyone around, love them, love
Put it in your hand, take it, take it
There’s no time to cry, happy, happy
Put it in your heart where tomorrow shines
Gold and silver shine
Shiny happy PEOPLE holding hands
Shiny happy people holding hands
Shiny happy people laughing
R.E.M. (Shiny happy people)
|JUIN||J’abandonne sur une chaise
Le journal du matin,
Les nouvelles sont mauvaises
D’ou qu’elles viennent
J’attends qu’elle se réveille
Et qu’elle se lève enfin
Je souffle sur les braises
Pour qu’elles prennent
Cette fois je ne lui annoncerai pas
La nouvelle hécatombes
Je garderai pour moi
Ce que m’inspire le monde
Elle m’a dit qu’elle voulait
Si je le permettais …
DEJEUNER en paix !!
Stephan EICHER (Déjeuner en paix)
|MAI||You got crazy legs, you got amazin’
You got rings on your fingers and your hair’s hot red
You got the width of my tongue name on the sun
I clutch you close my breast
Cause you’re the only one, who use SCHOOL to pleasure
David BOWIE (Velvet Goldmine)
|AVRIL||One more night, one more night
I’ve been trying ooh so long to let you know
Let you know how I feel
And I stumble if I fall, just help me back
So I can make you see
Please give me one more NIGHT, give me one more night
One more night cos I can’t wait forever
Give me just one more night, oh just one more night
Oh one more night cos I can’t wait forever
Phil COLLINS (One more night)
|MARS||Au clair de la lune
Je n’ai pas de plume
Je suis dans mon lit.
Va chez la voisine
Je crois qu’elle y est
Car dans la CUISINE
On bat du briquet
Chanson populaire (Au clair de la lune)
|FEVRIER||Puisqu’on ne vivra jamais tous les
Puisqu’on est fou, puisqu’on est seul
Puisqu’ils sont si nombreux
Même la morale parle pour eux
J’aimerai quand même te dire
Tout ce que j’ai pu ECRIRE
Je l’ai puisé à l’encre de tes yeux.
Francis CABREL (L’encre de tes yeux)
|JANVIER||J’en passe, j’en passe
Des nuits, des nuits,
Des nuits à caresser le papier !!
Des LETTRES de toi, mais papier c’est pas l’pied
J’aimerai tellement, tellement, tellement
Etre la bas avec toi !
Laurent VOULZY (Coeur Grenadine)
|DECEMBRE||Et elle court toute la journée
Elle court de DECEMBRE en été
De la nourrice à la baby-sitter
Des paquets de couches au biberon de quatre heures
Et elle fume, fume, fume, même au petit déjeuner.
Jean-Jacques GOLDMAN (Elle a fait un bébé toute seule)
|NOVEMBRE||When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin’ when I hold you
Don’t you know I feel the same
’Cause nothin’ lasts forever
And we both know hears can change
And it’s hard to hold a candle
In the cold NOVEMBER rain
GUNS’N ROSES (November rain)
|OCTOBRE||Il y aura certainement
Sur les tables en fer blanc
Quelques vases qui trainent
Et des nuages gris pris aux antennes
Je t’offrirai des fleurs
Et des nappes en couleurs
Pour ne pas qu’OCTOBRE nous prenne
Francis CABREL (Octobre)
|SEPTEMBRE||Du mois de SEPTEMBRE au mois d’Aout
Faudrait des bott’s en caoutchouc
Pour patauger dans la gadoue
La gadoue, la gadoue, la gadoue
Hou la gadou, la gadou
Serge GAINSBOURG (La gadoue)
|AOUT||Yesterday was horrid day, ’cause
Raymond kicked my shin
And mummy says if I amgood, she’ll let me go to school in AUGUST
Daddy shouted loud at mummy and I dropped my toast at breakfast
And laughed when Bonzo licked my face, because it ticked
I wonder why my daddy cries and how I wish that I was nearly five
When I’m five I will catch a butterfly and eat it and I won’t be sick
When I’m five I will jump in puddles, laugh in church and marry my mum
And I’ll let my daddy do the washing-up
David BOWIE (When I’m five)
|JUILLET||Le jour du Quatorze JUILLET
Je reste dans mon lit douillet.
La musique qui marche au pas,
Cela ne me regarde pas.
Je ne fais pourtant de mal à personne,
En n’écoutant pas le clairon qui sonne.
Mais les brav’ gens n’aiment pas que
L’on suive une autre route qu’eux,
Tout le monde me montre du doigt
Sauf les manchots, ca va de soi.
Georges BRASSENS (La mauvaise réputation)
|JUIN||No April rain
No Flowers bloom
No Wedding saturday within
The month of JUNE
But what it
Is is something true
Made up of these three words
That I must say to you
I just called to say I love you
I just called to say how much I care
Stevie WONDER (I just called to say)
|MAI||I’ve got sunshine
On a cloudy day.
When it’s cold outside
I’ve got the month of MAY
I guess you’d say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl (my girl, my girl)
Talkin’ ’bout my girl (my girl)
The TEMPTATIONS (My Girl)
Ne vous déplaise
En dansant la Javanaise
Nous nous aimions
Le temps d’une chanson…
Serge GAINSBOURG (La Javanaise)
|MARS||Du fond de son sac à malices,
MARS va sans doute, à l’occasion,
En sortir une - un vrai délice ! -
Qui me fera grosse impression...
En attendant, je persévère
A dir’ que ma guerr’ favorit’,
|FEVRIER||Je t’aime en Janvier, FEVRIER, Mars, Avril
Je t’aimerai toujours mon amour…. Fragile…
EDOUARDO (Je t’aime le Lundi)
|JANVIER||Pas de Citation. No Quote.|